We arrived back home and though we were scheduled to teach a class that evening, made the decision that I would stay with Sadie while my husband left for 2 hours to teach it by himself. She was acting weak, though not out of the norm after a major medical procedure. We were both heartbroken about the news the vet had shared. Was this really it? How could that be? Sadie was beating the infection! I would know the blood results tomorrow and I knew in my heart the infection was gone and her WBC was normal. Her RBC was obviously another issue. We were warned that if this indeed was a leukemic form of lymphoma and not merely an abscess, then there wasn’t much we could do about her RBCs. The possibility existed that it could be both, but with Sadie’s reaction to the transfusion, leukemia alone was the more likely culprit. We had tried so hard, come so far. I just couldn’t believe that it was to end like this. I was prone to wonder if giving the blood transfusion was the right thing to do, but in my heart I know that if she had passed away that day and we hadn’t given it to her when we could have, it would have been difficult for me to handle.
Of course, looking back with all of the knowledge I now have, there are things I would have done differently. I would have taken her back to the teaching hospital for all the extensive blood work, or at least requested the same tests taken at the local clinic, sending the samples to be evaluated there at the hospital. I would have taken her for a CT scan (although by the time we got her lymphoma diagnosis, there wasn’t really any point in doing so). I would have ordered Cisapride for her motility earlier. I would have used little syringes to administer meds. I would have made sure her antibiotics were given through an IV. I would have insisted something be done for her albumin/total protein levels. I could give an endless list of “would-haves”, but the truth remains that I always did what I believed what was best for Sadie with the information I had at the time. So many things I would have done, had I only known. I can lay my head down at night knowing I did everything within my power to save my Sadie. That’s one of the main factors in posting this blog: to help those dealing with a beloved pet’s illness be more informed and hopefully alleviate some stress and help the pet to have comfort.
My husband wanted us to sit with Sadie out on our favorite bench in the front yard. We had so much to do that day, but nothing else really mattered but Sadie. He held her facing me, and we just sat there together, the last time the three of us would be on the same bench together. I wasn’t ready for her to go. I still believed she was going to pull through. We went inside and got situated for the afternoon. My sister-in-law and her friend came by. My husband cleaned Sadie’s nose. I tried to show her toys to her. I set up my computer right next to her so I could make notes for the evening’s class. Sadie began to spit up. My husband came over to help and held her, while I put down a towel on her bed. She looked at me with the most precious look. And then, it was over. Just like that. My heart sunk as I told my husband I didn’t think she was breathing. I could not believe it. My life would never be the same.
Of course, looking back with all of the knowledge I now have, there are things I would have done differently. I would have taken her back to the teaching hospital for all the extensive blood work, or at least requested the same tests taken at the local clinic, sending the samples to be evaluated there at the hospital. I would have taken her for a CT scan (although by the time we got her lymphoma diagnosis, there wasn’t really any point in doing so). I would have ordered Cisapride for her motility earlier. I would have used little syringes to administer meds. I would have made sure her antibiotics were given through an IV. I would have insisted something be done for her albumin/total protein levels. I could give an endless list of “would-haves”, but the truth remains that I always did what I believed what was best for Sadie with the information I had at the time. So many things I would have done, had I only known. I can lay my head down at night knowing I did everything within my power to save my Sadie. That’s one of the main factors in posting this blog: to help those dealing with a beloved pet’s illness be more informed and hopefully alleviate some stress and help the pet to have comfort.
My husband wanted us to sit with Sadie out on our favorite bench in the front yard. We had so much to do that day, but nothing else really mattered but Sadie. He held her facing me, and we just sat there together, the last time the three of us would be on the same bench together. I wasn’t ready for her to go. I still believed she was going to pull through. We went inside and got situated for the afternoon. My sister-in-law and her friend came by. My husband cleaned Sadie’s nose. I tried to show her toys to her. I set up my computer right next to her so I could make notes for the evening’s class. Sadie began to spit up. My husband came over to help and held her, while I put down a towel on her bed. She looked at me with the most precious look. And then, it was over. Just like that. My heart sunk as I told my husband I didn’t think she was breathing. I could not believe it. My life would never be the same.
